There will come a time in every new college kid’s journey where they will get homesick and they will want to come home. It will take everything in your mamma heart to not jump in the car and go rescue your child or let them come home. Of course they can always come home but you have to help them determine if this truly is a mental health issue or if it is just simply needing to get adjusted to a new place. If that truly is the case we always joke that our kids don’t transition well but there are some things we can do to make them feel more comfortable and talk them off the ledge so to speak. A few things to help them get over this bump in the road, and set them up for success. Emotions may run high and at that point , everything seems hopeless but tell them just hang on and be patient as hard as that may sound.
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It’s Completely Normal
Feeling home sick is a natural part of new college life. Think about it. They are in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by people they do not know and adults they have never met before either. For many of these kids, they have never been away from home, my daughter included. Not even gone to summer camp. How daunting that must feel. They don’t even have many sights and sounds from home to comfort them.
Support is Always There for Them
First thing you need to do is reassure them that you are always there to rescue them and that their home is always there waiting for them should they ever need it. This gives them. Incidence that if all else fails they have a safety net to catch them. You don’t want them to immediately give up and quit when it gets hard, but at least they have an option.
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Sleep Cures A Lot
The next thing they need to do is get a good night’s rest so they can wake up with a clear head and a better perspective. Make sure they have a nice comfy bed and super comfy pajamas to sleep in. Perhaps a familiar stuffed animal from home will help make things better as well. FaceTime them or video call them before they go to bed and reassure them this is not the end of the world and everything will turn out just fine.
Get By With a Little Help From your Friends
The most important thing they can do right off the bat is try to make some friends. This may or may not be the roommate and that is okay. Have them put themselves out there to meet new people. They have to remember everyone is new and trying to meet new people. If there is a community kitchen, suggest perhaps they bake a batch of cookies. The smell of cookies baking is always bound to draw people out of their rooms and your child can offer to share and strike up a conversation with them. Tell them to reach out to kids in their classes. Have them go to the gym and take an exercise class and get to know the people in the class. Suggest they sign up for several clubs and go to the first few meetings to see if they hit it off with anyone. See if there is a local church that has a college kids ministry you can join or a bible study group on campus and that is instant friendship right there. A recreational sports team is another place they can meet like minded people and can begin to build some friendship bonds. They just have to be willing to step outside their comfort zone and be the one to take the first step in making a friend.
Distractions is key
The key to fighting homesickness is to find something to distract them and take their mind off of it. If they can make friends, they can begin to hang out together, shop, go to parties and meet other people. Pretty soon they will be having the time of their life. It doesn’t last forever and soon they won’t want to even come back home. This is where tough love comes into play. They need that gentle nudge out of the nest to try the unknown even though they are scared. They need to remember everyone else is in the same boat too. Most schools provide resident assistants that will have activities planned at the beginning of school to get to know everyone better and make new friends. Tell them unless they are sleeping to leave their door open to the hall to encourage people to stop in and say hi. A little kindness will go a long way and before you know it your kid will be so involved in campus life you both won’t remember what it was like when they felt alone.
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